Bonsai

Nora gave me this bonsai with an original haiku:

pruned and healed bonsai
beautiful new growth appears
strong roots bring forth life

She's creative and kind.

Hopefully, I can keep it alive...

Houston Hot House

I got this HUGE bouquet from Robert, Kim and R4. So big that I had to split it into two arrangements.

I guess it's true that everything from Texas is big.

Spring Flowers from Ivy

Ivy came by on Saturday with tulips and daffodils. And cookies, and books, and magazines, and candy, and best of all - a smile. Ivy has been such a great cheerleader for me. It brings a tear to my eye how many people are behind me 100% with only good news and well wishes. I'm so lucky.

Tony and Cho

This bright bouquet came from Phil's boss and his wife.

Helicos Bouquet

These beautiful flowers came from my friends and colleagues at my new company Helicos BioSciences. http://www.helicosbio.com

Tulips from Angela

Excellent News!

I had my post-op followup appt today and I'm cancer free! My pathology results indicated that my lymph nodes were negative for any cancer cells. The results also indicated that there was DCIS in other areas of my breast so the mastectomy was a good idea. I won't need any further treatment. wahoo!

My risk of developing cancer of any form in my left breast is 1% more per year than the average person. I will continue with yearly screenings as normal.

So here's how the appt went down. Karen, the nurse practioner, removed the plastic bandage over my wound. That was like having about 5 big bandaids torn off - even though she was very gentle. But at least that pain was gone just as fast as it happened. Next came the drain removal which I had obsessed about since breakfast. At least I only started freaking out a few hours beforehand. As it turned out, Phil was cracking a joke as Karen removed the drain and I didn't even notice it was out. All that worrying for nothing. To be honest, I was more concerned about that #@$!%^ drain than the pathology results. I guess there are two types of drain tubing - fenestrated and then the kind I had. Fenestrated tubing hurts to be removed since it has little windows in it. That's my guess anyway.

I had to come home from the appt and take a nap since I was so wound up prior to getting the drain and bandage removed.

The other news was that I need to "break the pain cycle." I had stopped taking any pain meds even though I still had some minor pain. This minor pain was hindering my movement and thus my recovery. Dr I said that it was important to be pain free so that my central nervous system didn't think I always had pain which would slow down my recovery and potentially lead into a chronic pain situation.

So I'm back on narcs interleaved with alleve. It really is nice not to have any pain. Joe has become my chauffeur for the time being since drugs and driving don't mix.

I'm soooo looking forward to a solid night of sleep.

I have a followup appt at the end of April and at that point I can be fitted with a prosthetic.

R & R

So for the past few days, I've been recovering. This translates to sitting on the couch watching hours of TV and DVDs. [Keep in mind that we have no cable.]I've also been visiting with family and friends and taking naps. And I pick up the occasional magazine but don't seem to have the attention span yet for a book. My latest cover to cover accomplishment was Star magazine. It was great! Now I know what NOT to wear to the Oscars.

My back actually hurts because of so much inactivity. I'm hoping Phil will have time to take me once around the block this afternoon. Even though it's cold out there, I'm willing to give it a whirl. I started my stretching exercises to get back range of motion. Right now these are just "wall climb" stretches.

I actually put the timer on for 15 minutes and did a little de-cluttering around the house. Seeing nice clean counters and other flat surfaces makes me feel in control.

I haven't had to cook since I got home Wednesday. So many people have come over with wonderful meals or take out gift certificates. This is great because Phil is stretched pretty thin keeping up on the house and kid chores. And of course, waiting on me hand and foot. Today Joe made me a grilled cheese for lunch since Phil, Kate and Steve were out.

I'll post more pictures of the beautiful flowers that I've received as soon as the loopiness wears off. I'm down to a half painkiller alternating with 2 xtra strength tylenols every 6 hours. Today I've had zero pain but I think I'm also getting better at avoiding the things that cause me pain (e.g., getting up the wrong way.)

I think the next stage of recovery for me is to keep moving and getting back my range of motion. No weight training or vigorous cardio until I have the drain removed. I have to make my first post-op visit this coming week. Hopefully, the drain will be removed and I'll get my pathology results.

Amazon Warrior

Yes - I made it. Joe thought I was just like an Amazon Warrior since they would cut off their breast in order to be better archers. I'm not sure if I'll take up archery quite yet.

So here's how the day went. We arrived at the hospital with time to spare for our 9AM check in. My surgery had been moved up to 10:30AM from 11:30AM so right after I checked in at day surgery I had to go to nuclear medicine. When I got there, I didn't have a B&W blue card, so had to go to patient registration. By this time, I was getting antsy about getting the sentinel node done in time for the surgery. I was so flustered that I couldn't figure out the sign in log. The only rude person I met the whole day was the registration lady who said, "Hellllloooo, you put your name HERE."

Once I got my blue card, we rushed back to nuclear medicine to sit for an hour. oh well. I had my solitaire game so I was all set. Phil read some exciting Lincoln biography (yawn). When I got into the nuke room, I got 5 lovely shots that felt like bee stings. The radiology intern, radiologist and I discussed our favorite X-files episodes and the awesome SNL Christopher Walken "I need more cow bell" skit. Then I laid under an imaging machine for about 20minutes while they watched the tracers go to the lymph node. That was cool.

Then it was back to the day surgery waiting room. But since I was 30min late for surgery I got right into pre-op. I name dropped Marie's sister name and everyone was "oh yes we know Karen." Marie's sister (who is a nurse) was on vacation but normally works on that floor.

The IV which I dreaded the most was a total non-issue. I made sure to thank the nurse. Dr. I gave me my "cocktail" and after that I don't remember anything until I was in recovery. He told me I kept up my side of the conversation in the OR though.

I was in recovery for probably 2 hours between the bed and the chair. Dr. I came and sat with us for quite a while to go over the surgery and post-surgery stuff. What a great guy! We never felt like he was in a hurry to be off somewhere else.

I got home right around 5:15PM and I justed started on pain killers. It turns out the drain thing isn't as bad as I had imagined. I have a very active imagination.

And the best news is that since my bandage has plastic over it, I can have a shower right away. yippee!

Thanks to everyone for their prayers and good vibes. I'm truly lucky to have so many wonderful friends.

Inedible (but beautiful) Flowers

These beautiful gerbera daisies are from my friends Darryl and Alycia.

Kate and I had fun artfully arranging them. The colors are absolutely beautiful and add a bright spot to our dining room table.

They've lasted a week now and don't show any signs of drooping yet.

Fresh Fruit Flowers

This is a cool edible arrangement my friend Ken and his wife Kim sent to us yesterday.

I picked Kate up early from after school so she could have some fruit before gymnastics. She was absolutely thrilled! She and my cousin had made one themselves a couple of months ago and so we know how much work goes into making one.

Joe was home sick yesterday and it made a nice treat for him too. We'd all eat a lot more fresh fruit if it was presented so nicely.

What a nice treat!

Y Swim

This past Sunday we had the end of the season party for Kate and Steve's Y swim team. Although much of the season was spent dragging them to practice, they both had a great season.

They both made it to the District Championships. And both received individual awards. Kate got the "Most Improved 9-10 year old Girl" award for taking 7 seconds off her breast stroke over the course of the season. Steven received an award for swimming the most laps for 13-14 year old boys during the annual swim-a-thon. He swam 61 laps or almost a mile in an hour.

And still they ask, "Y do we have to swim?"

Wahoo!

Phil and I had an excellent visit with Dr Iglehart at the Dana-Farber Cancer Institute in Boston yesterday!

Here is the executive summary: Simple mastectomy surgery is scheduled for next Wednesday March 15th at Brigham and Women's.

Details: 9:30 sentinel node dye and marker injection; 11:30 surgery (<2 hours); quick recovery and then home the same day

Dr I was everything we could have hoped for - intelligent, personable, and straight forward. And bonus - he has a sense of humor! [Many thanks to Lisa for talking to Stan who talked to Barry who gave me Dr I's name.] Dr I is the the Director of Women's Cancers Program at Dana-Farber and Chief of Surgical Oncology at B&W.

And the support staff was incredible too. They gave us a ton of literature about pre-surgery, surgery, and post-surgery as well as a backpack of info for each kid. Kate's backpack had two beanie babies in it. She was generous and gave Steven the kangaroo, and kept the puppy for herself. I thought the teenage booklet was appropriately titled "What about me?"

They also have a Friends Boutique right at D-F where you can order special bras and prosthetics. They gave me a free gift bag with all kinds of info and products.

Just an overall wonderful experience.

OK - so here's some more details on the actual surgery from my point of view. So going with Dr I's suggestion of simple mastectomy (removal of all breast tissue and nipple) since he also believes that the other calcifications seen throughout my right breast are candidates for DCIS. [yeah - this was what Phil and I thought too]

He also said he'd do a sentinel node biopsy. This is where they inject a dye with radioactive markers near the DCIS site and allow the dye to travel for a couple of hours. It will aggregate at the first lymph node it hits which they will pick up with a geiger counter (I think). During the mastectomy, they will remove just that dyed lymph node vs a whole bunch of them. Then they do a pathology work up to determine if any cancer cells had made it out of my breast into the lymph node. If not, then I'm done. If they find cancer cells, then I will have to have surgery to remove more lymph nodes.

So for anesthesia, I'll be doing a paravertebral block instead of general. This sounds way cool. They only have to numb the nerves that branch out from my back to numb my chest. This means less recovery time and no general anesthesia side effects. And the bonus is that the block sometimes lasts 18-24 hrs so less need for pain meds.

And I get to come home the same day. I could stay in the hospital overnight but my experience has been that I'd get more rest at home.

So no reconstruction for me. I have to throw in "at this point" so people will know that it is an option at any later time if I choose. I really have no desire to lift my chest muscles up and push in an implant. Kinda freaky that the implant has to go UNDER the muscle but this is to protect the implant since your skin is so thin. Well, of course, Phil would say I'm thick skinned but whatever....

So this weekend will be spent organizing all of my information and making a gazillion checklists (pre surgery TODOs, day of surgery TODOs, and post-surgery stuff). Everyone knows how much I love to make lists and be organized.

Wish me luck!

Ugh

Today Phil and I visited our first surgeon who shall remain nameless. Long story short -> she sucked. For more details, read on...

I think I went in with an open mind. I kept telling myself (and Phil) that I had an open mind, seeing as this doctor wasn't practicing at a top notch facility.

Right off the bat, the waiting room was so small that Phil and I had to sit in a filing room that smelled of cigarette smoke. When space cleared enough that we could move into the main waiting room, I couldn't straighten out my legs without tripping someone as they walked past. Not a good sign - but still keeping an open mind.

Then the receptionist was unlike any of the other wonderful professionals that I have so far encountered. [Is that saying it without actually saying it?]

Once we did get into the doctor's office, she hadn't read any of my medical history. She seemed to be very interested in my left breast diagnosis of fibrocystic breast. [focus here - we're here for right breast DCIS] I was already getting a bad feeling at this point.

While looking at my films, she pointed out what we had seen many times before, but to her credit she didn't know that. When asked what her recommended treatment would be, she said biopsy the known area and then a few other random calcifications. When asked what the surgery would be like she said, "It will be like getting a haircut." [I kid you not!]

I said, "Well what about a mastectomy?" She said she thought it was always better to proceed slowly and use knowledge to access the situation. OK - so that's fine. But when I say I'd rather not have 2+ surgeries, she says it's nice that you're being "courageous" but don't make a rash decision. Unlike the other wonderful doctors we've met, she wasn't interested in knowing why I had considered a mastectomy.

In general, she seemed very dismissive. I can't imagine having to request pain meds from this doctor. Decision made on this doctor. And I will be following up with my PCP to let him know that the recommendation wasn't a good one.

So fingers crossed for Thursday's surgeon.

That's my boy!

Joe's swim season is winding down.

Two weekends ago, he had a great showing at the high school Division 1 state championships. He was 9th in the state in the 200Free and also 9th in the 500Free.

This weekend was the New England championships @ MIT for his US swim team. He had personal bests in almost every event. His best finish was coming in 2nd place in New England in the 1650Free event. He made his second sectional cut and what made it even better was that his team, Shawmut Aquatic Club, took 1st (Justin), 2nd and 3rd (Dave) in that event. It was a great race to watch.

It was a long weekend of driving, parking, sitting on concrete benchs, and eating takeout, but I'm proud of how much his hard work has paid off.

TGIF

What a great day today!

I met some old AB coworkers for lunch at La Groceria in Cambridge. It was nice to see people that I'd lost touch with over the last year. Of course, I sat across from Ed - my favorite mass spectrometrist - who also acted as my chauffeur today.

The bruschetta was delicious. I had forgotten how good it is at La Groceria. Then I had the tortellini gorgonzola. I saved room for Toscanni's gelato - hazelnut and Kulfee (indian kheer-like: cardamom, almonds, and pistachios).

After work, it was another AB/Sciex event at John Harvard's in Framingham. Marvin hosted Mark and Kevin's going away bash and there was a great turn out. Again, nice to see so many friends all in one place.

We sure had a good time at AB.